Is worse. I’ve been depressed for 8 years of my life and suffer from self harm I Dont know what to do anymore. I need help but I have no support or insurance. My parents are opposed to me getting help. I’m scared and lost. Any advice? Please. (2/2)
Excuse my language, but fuck that shit.
The only thing that would make you ‘just like him’ is if you went out and raped someone.
Fuck people who think that wishing people who hurt us is as bad as them actually hurting people.
So the bad news is when people in our lives don’t want us to get help, and especially when we don’t have insurance/would have issues paying- it can be harder to get help anyway.
The good news is there are free resources.
My general….. I need to make a post one day that’s just called ‘the SCaR way’ but the way I suggest people go about their healing journey is as follows:
Healing falls into three parts-
2. Symptom Management
3, Self Care.
I usually tell people to start with the last two. 3 is the easiest. and by self care I don’t mean ‘go take a bubble bath’ (though that could be part of it) I mean a lot more of the basic self care things. like working on sleep, eating, and healthy ways to express emotions. If you check out the masterlist- there’s a thing talking about all the different areas of self care. I’m a big fan of preventative self care vs. reactionary self care.
2. Symptom management. Take your symptoms. anything you think of a symptom. ‘Irritability’ ‘flashbacks’ ‘nightmares’ - list all of them. and then pick two.
and then research. If you look at the masterlist- there are some guides for some symptoms. Talk to other survivors. There are online resources- and even things at the public library (if you feel self conscious- tell yourself that you aren’t any different than your average psychology student. and you can even tell that to anyone else. or that you’re helping a friend.)
and then I want you to pick.. three methods. just three.
and try them. Give them an honest to goodness try. for a week.
Know no one thing is going to be a cure all- pay attention to anything that helps ‘at all’.
You’re going to want to keep notes of what works and what doesn’t and just… try three things to help those TWO symptoms.
If you just try to focus on everything all at once- nothing will help enough to be relevant. You have to narrow your focus. A lot of things WILL help most symptoms- but if you’re paying attention to everything.. yeah.
and then you’re going to rinse and repeat. Once you think you have those two symptoms under control- you can move on to others.
Processing…. Processing… What do I have to say about processing.
it sucks? it’s worthwhile anyway? It gets worse before it gets better? which is why I say focus on the other two first so that you have the skills to handle it.
but processing can be telling your story (or writing it out. even if you don’t share it with anyone) it can be talking about various things. Processing is when we work through the things that it makes us feel. and through the memory.
and I just wanted to wrap this up again with ‘fuck anyone who thinks that wishing bad shit on our abusers makes us the bad guy’ it’s victim blaming, it’s naive, and it’s bullshit.
now I wouldn’t actually advise going out and doing anything (well anything illegal. if you want to report you can) just because of general legalities and because prison isn’t fun. but just wishing it?